Love - Unrequited? or Unexpressed?

Amit Ghosh, a 60 year old mathematics teacher. After retiring from his office, he started taking tuitions. A pair of spectacles, a big fat mathematics book embraced by his left arm and his heart and a pair of white pyjamas and panjabi was all that he needed for his survival after retirement. He is not like any other mathematics teacher, he is not strict, hardly ever scolds his students.....

UNBELIEVABLE.

His wife, Anjali, a home-maker and an art lover. Her days were simple, starting with the making of their morning tea, followed by arranging the living room for her husband’s students and then preparing the lunch, dusting the furniture, re-arranging her wardrobe and spreading the aroma of devotion by singing the beautiful songs . No, this is not simple, but it was to her as she was a superwoman even at the age of 59.

She had a lot of friends within those four walls of her home. The plants were her companions and the ones who heard all her complaints, wishes, ups and downs and her songs. The birds who came to her balcony were her children who came to her to have their breakfast, lunch and dinner and were out for work for the rest of the day. Among all these dutiful hours , she managed to have time for herself when she weaved a sweater for the school boy next door, a muffler for Mr. Ghosh and a shawl for her sister.

Every time Mr. Ghosh went out for something or the other, she always remarked, 

“বাড়ি ফিরে এসো সন্ধ্যে নামার আগেই I” (Come back to home before the dusk)

Never replying with words but by waving his hand he used to leave. Closed the door, she came with a heart full of complaints to her plants and said,

''কি হতো যদি মুখে কথা বলে যেত হাত দেখিয়ে চলে যাবার কি মানে...আমি বুঝি কেউ নই?”  (What refrained him from replying to me with words? Am I no one?)

Having no human too close to her, she always shared the smallest of emotions like these with none but her plants.

This is a story of the childless parents . A Mother who embraced the four walls of her home with love and care. She was a Mother without a son or a daughter. Mr. Ghosh, bound by formulas failed to express his love for his only companion, only friend, his wife, Anjali.

While handing over the handkerchief to him and buttoning his shirt, they shared the most secret looks of unsaid, unexpressed love.

50 years back two unknown souls were tied together in the name of marriage. They were given the label of a husband and a wife. An arranged marriage is nothing but to leave two unknown individuals together and allow them to fall for each other. Magically, they did spend 50 whole years together, sometimes with love and sometimes without.

On a Sunday afternoon, she served the delicious typical Bengali Sunday dish of কষা মাংস (Tanned meat),বাসমতি চালের ভাত (Basmati rice), and মিষ্টি দই (Sweet yogurt). The small piece of meat was just about to land on Anjali’s plate when someone knocked on the door.

Ohhh.....why now? Anjali for the first time was just about to feed herself with love...and only now....that stranger or whoever had to knock the door...

However, when a guest is waiting outside, how can the Mother of the home not keep aside her desires and walk down forward to welcome the guest?

On opening the door,

“এই বাড়ি ছাড়তে হবে....আমাদের অংশের বাড়ি তে এরমভাবে থাকা যাবে না...নিন নিন এবার সব ওঠান এখান থেকে I” 

(You will have to leave this house. This is our part of property. You both can’t stay here. Leave as soon as possible.)

A loud disturbing storm came to the calm home. 

It was Mr. Ghosh’s relative who wanted to take away Mr. Ghosh’s part of property under some false allegations and reasons.....basically, under nothing but greed.

Will the life of calmness be able to take hold of this uncalled storm?

Who will save them? 

Or will anyone come to save them?

Shaked by the words, Mrs.Ghosh ran to the dining table, trying to catch her breath and said,

''আমার তো কেউ নেই,আমার এই গাছ গুলো আমার সব....ওদের ছেড়ে আমি পারবো না যেতে কোথাও...আর আমি চলে গেলে আমার ছেলে মেয়ে গুলো কে সকাল বিকেল জল আর ডাল দেবে কে?” 

(I don’t have anyone except for these plants...I can’t leave them alone and go away somewhere else,...and what would happen to my children if I am not here? Who would give them water and the daal seeds at the end of a busy day?)

“আররে....শান্ত হও..ঠিক কোনো একটা ব্যবস্থা হবে....দেখি এবার একটা উকিল ঠিক করতে হবে...” 

(Calm down, there will surely be a way out, let’s see....I will now have to look for a good lawyer)

Consoling her, he hugged him.

Wait... wait...this man of formulas was finally able to comfort his wife with love? 

That’s amazing, isn’t it? 

But how long will this last?

The days of extra work were here. From the court to the police station and then again to the court. Once, twice, thrice...the entire day to run from here to there and then from there to here. On failing to maintain his schedule of his tuition classes he had to stop the classes. He had to stop himself from being able to love them, the ones with whom he always filled the void of not having a child.

With the days turning gloomy, somewhere within, unknowingly their love began to bloom in its best form. With a lot of harsh words from his brothers and others, he broke down to his wife. The man of formulas was now falling in the web of love again. He was dependent on his wife, but now, he couldn’t imagine even a single day without sharing his words with her and her caressing him in her lap.

That is when she realised... 

'কাছে আসতে গেলে মাঝে মাঝে দূরে যেতে হয় I'  

(To get close, at times you got to get distant.)

Love is not always about herons flying, sunlight and rainbows, it’s a lot more about rainy afternoons, gloomy nights and words of comfort. Sometimes with a lot of noise and sometimes silent...

On the last day of the case, when it seemed that they were winning, he decided to take Anjali with him. They went to the court. She saw the world outside her home but chose to love her home more than this other world.

The case for the final day started. Mr. Ghosh’s lawyer suddenly started being on the plaintiff’s side.

No....this can’t happen right??

Mr. and Mrs. Ghosh was about to win...but...

WHAT HAPPENED?

Yes, the lawyer was bought by the opponent with money so he took their side and the decree to leave the house was given to Mr. and Mrs. Ghosh by the judge.

Left shattered, the Mother lost her child. A childless Mother can’t survive the loss of her children again. They left the court and were on their way back home to take their belongings away from there.

She had an unbearable headache and fell on the streets.

“অঞ্জলি, কি হলো...অঞ্জলি?” (Anjali, what happened...Anjali?)

No, even on listening to Mr. Ghosh’s loving voice her senses weren’t back. She wascarried to the hospital nearby. After several scannings, she was given to the general bed. 

She was declared dead due to brain hemorrhage, to Mr. Ghosh by the doctor - a few hours later...

Everything in front of Mr. Ghosh was shattered. His students, his home, his wife, everything was snatched away from him. He seemed to be the only person living on earth at that point of time.

It was 8:30pm.....when he returned to Mrs. Ghosh’s Palace, her children, their home with her corpse.

''আর ফেরা হল না বাড়ি

সন্ধ্যে নামার আগে...''

(I could not any more return to home, just before the dusk hits...)

After a year, Mr.Ghosh passed away. From the last page of his diary:

'যদি মিথ্যে না হয়ে

হও সত্যি তুমি

তবে ফেরার নামে

কেন আবার গেলে চলে??'

(If you are truly there, and not just a figment of my imagination

Then why did you leave, making me wait for your arrival?)

The now known souls probably met again in a different world. 

A world where love rules and lives too. 

A world who isn’t greedy enough to kill humanity....

“যদি এটা হত শুধুই একটা গল্প 

তবে হত না এতো কষ্ট

এ যে সেই মিথ্যে পৃথিবীর না বলা সত্যি 

খুব কাছের কেউ যখন যে চলে

ভীষণ সহানুভূতি দেখাতে আসে ওরা জানেনা ওরা

ও অনেক রাত আসে শুধুই একলা হয়ে,

আমি তোমায় কোনো কিছুই পারিনি বলতে গুছিয়ে 

তাই সময়ে নিজের গল্প বলে গেল চলে 

অভাবে আমায়,

অভাবে আমায়...''

(If this was just a story then you wouldn't have felt so much pain. 

'Tis nothing but a hidden figment of truth from Planet three...

When someone dear goes away

Those who come to sympathize - they don't know

He comes - only comes in the solitary night,

I failed, failed to tell the things I wanted tell you

Couldn't arrange the words...

Thus, thy spake own's story and left...

Leaving me in a void...

In a desolate void...)

- Anonymous, 11.01.2021