Parallelogram 5
It was
Wednesday. Wednesday night.
Was
practicing. Practicing a song. A song by Tagore.
(Yay.)
And that
was it when this intro ended.
(Wait
what?)
I know…it
is weird.
I want to
have a normal introduction. That’s the law.
But I know
all the law-abiding good readers I have…
WHO DO THE
OPPOSITE.
So, the
intro after the appearance of a very weird looking man who has a beard and has
this Dumbledore like white hair…
He asked me
in a rasping voice:
‘Dost thou
know parallax?’
(Demon
summoned. Huh…)
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where
people stab each other for…..
Well, no
reason.
AT ALL.
Eddie: Hey
Franck! Watch this!
(Stabby
knifey noises)
Franck: Hey
Edd check this out.
(MORE
STABBY STABBY KNIFEY KNIFEY NOISES)
Meanwhile,
a random teen named Sally…
Hey guys,
watch this!
(PeNkNiFeY
StAbBy StAbBy NoIsEs)
(oh the
blood..)
(oh the
violence….)
And in the
end, result?
BLOOD BLOOD
BLOOD….
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where
(* crickets
chirp *)
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where
everyone is awkward.
Teacher:
So, you’’ll be able to do this?
Student:
You know the rules, and so do I!
Teacher:
Student:
(kree kree
kree)
Sorry sir,
just this song came up
Teacher:
Hmm…well good night.
Student:
(KREE KREE
KREE)
Teacher:
Sorry, good day.
Rogue: You
think you are tall, huh punk?
Supposed
punk: No. Not at all.
R: I…I…
(KREE KREE)
Well, be
ready for your death! You’re gonna live..wait…
Punk:
Rogue:
(KrEe KrEe
Kreeeeeeee)
I’m gonna
to slap…
Punk:
There’s no ‘to’
Rogue: I
mean…I mean…
(Crickety
crickety cricket)
You know,
I’m gonna lose you. Get yourself…found…
(Rogue
disappears.)
(Punk looks
confused as a score crickets continue to play their symphony.)
(KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where there
is static…
(Scene at a
supermarket.)
Customer:
Umm….i….is…..t.t.h..ere…..a….a….sh…sham…….poo….a…..ava….i….la….b…..le….f….o…for
a……5….5-y….ea….r……ol…..old…..bab…..baby?
Helper:
Y…..y…..es…..tt…..h…..e…there….i…..i….is……it……..
(…..Hands
shampoo with a lot of static…..)
Customer: T….thhhh…….a….n……k……y…..thank……..you….
Helper:
Y…y….yo….’ure……..we….l….co…..welc……..om……welco…m…..me….welcome….
(At a
station in the meantime)
‘Brian, how
many times I’ve told you, not to disturb the connection!
‘I’m sorry
man! I’m tellin’ ya!’
‘Ya sure…now
HOW THE HECK I’M SUPPOSED TO CONTROL THE 7.5 BILLION PEOPLE’S SPEECH? CHRIST
WILL CRUCIFY ME INSTEAD!’
‘Yeah but
you get to return after two days right?’
(thinking)
‘Hm….yeah…point….’
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where India
is not divided.
Yeah, it’s
a wonderful life.
India as a
whole…
No
Pakistan, no Bangladesh
No feuds
among cricket fans…
No uni-
ahem, unity +100…
Oh, such a
wonderful life….
….could
have been done if that Mount could have removed the Partition plan.
(I so hate
Indian history of 1947.)
(BLEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where, USA
is a silent country-
Wait. Hold
on.
That means,
Germany won
the First World War.
Hitler did
another World War to…
OH JOISUS
CHYST.
Thank God
we’re still here. I mean, USA isn’t that violent…
NOW RELEASE
THE LIONS ON TRUMP.
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE,
Where the
language is Parseltongue!
Man: Hassss
satta fof gallen sssssssss….
Woman:
SSSSSSSSSSSS ERSSSSHA HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSS UNSSSSSSS!
Man:
Jasssssss dittnerssssss sas kabtan nas teos daaimmmmonoassssssssss
Woman:
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
MAN:
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woman:
Laich ssssssssss fagsssssss torsssssssssssss passss ressssssssssss…
(MORE
HISSING NOISES RESONIFY.)
(I dunno
what the last word means. Physics has an evil eye on me so…)
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where
creepy dolls are usual.
As Jenny
parked up her car back in the garage, she noticed something different.
Different
about her garage.
Wasn’t that
something sticking out of her wench cabinet?
In the
dimmed lights, she moved closer to get a better view of it…
Closer
Closer…
‘ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
The thing
just shrieked out suddenly, and then dropped in Jenny’s full view. She picked
it up.
It was
creepy-looking porcelain doll!
(SUMMON YOUR
GODS EVERYONE. IF ATHEIST, SUMMON SCIENCE!)
Jenny
looked at it once, and then crashed it down.
(Horror
music stops.)
‘Meh. Junk arse…’
she said with a laugh, as she closed the garage…
In the
darkness, something called out….
‘I knew I
wasn’t fit for Annabelle….oh, my neck….’
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where sentences
are constructed backwards.
(Scene at a
dinner table.)
Son: Dinner?
for what’s
Mom: Pork!
Roasted
Son: Great!
Woah!
Mom: Beans
baked some with!
Son: Ever! dinner
best
Mom:
Homework your do to got you’ve dinner after
Son: Nuts.
Oh.
Mom: Dinner!
this enjoy
(Black cut
to we.)
MEANWHILE
IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Where
people are outstandingly honest.
Yeah, it’s
brilliant.
Workers
openly say that they hate their job and get crushed immediately.
Students openly
say that the teachers are arses and get spanked immediately.
The
girlfriend slaps her boyfriend openly and makes the boyfriend depressed on 15th
February
Brutus
openly declares his hate for Caesar…
Wait.
WHAT-
MEANWHILE
IN OUR UNIVERSE
‘Yes. It’s
ture.’
‘But how?’
‘That Roman
was a jerk. I hate him. * spit *’
The clock
was nearly at 1 o’clock.
‘Well, Monsieur
Brutus, I think that’s understandable. Have a good day and a good night. Now,
will you please excuse me? This is taking a toll on me now…
Parallel
universe are now becoming slack….c’mon…
NO ONE WOULD
WANT A SIXTH OF THIS RIGHT?
Guys?
Guys?
Hey.
HEEEEEEEEEEEY!
***
M.Macabre
15.01.2021
Dedicated
to: Thomas Ridgewell, Nemo, Anonymous
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